


of sleepovers and hunger games

by orphan_account



Series: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, Not a Serious Fic, daishou references history of japan memes a lot, some bokuaka if you squint really really hard, they join the hunger games eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 23:55:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6350692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joining the hunger games is such a good idea to do after a sleepover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepovers are disasters and nobody wants Kuroo's mum's raisins.

**Kuroo Pov.**

“leg so smooth Ye could fry an egg on it” I ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
“Kuroo that makes no sense.!!!!” Kenma say And he also glares a lil.  
“Of course it make sense!!” I promise  
Brokuto touches my leg and gasp™ "SO HOT YOU COULD FRY AN EGG” "YA BRO THATS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY” “OHOHO???” “Oho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) “  
“FUCK.” we all stooooooopppppp and look and kenma who putted his game down.  
“KENMA DON'T SWEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!” I scream. He look angry. It is cute. He gets up and leaves and I look at broski for help but he just shrugs. “Gotta go fast bro ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) akaaaassssshhhiiiiiii made a fire at home” he left and I don't think that tru bc akaashi can't make fire ??? :/

**Kenma pov.**

“No, but Akaashi his legs looked like a fucking goddess!!!” I sigh and fall on Akaashi bed.  
Akaashi look at me and shAke his hed. “Ya have it bad, boi…..” He say and I nod X 10000000.  
“What do you evn see in hi-”  
“he is sexy as shit and his hair god damn don't get me started and oh my god his thighs jfc Akaashi have you seen his thighs??”  
“You need help”  
“I need kuroo's thighs.”  
“Look how about you have a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) sleepover ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and that will give you an excuse to do shit with his thighs”  
“wot”  
“wot”  
“....”  
“I'm organising this sleepover.”  
“Akashi NOOO.” I was gonna stop him but I didn't really care and I was too lazy so I just played on my 3ds.  
“Hello, pain-in-the-ass-kuroo-san? Yes. Kenma's second mom. NO THIS IS NOT AKAASHI WHO THE FUCK- anyway, Kenma is having a sleepover so he can fantasise about your thighs. Thankies.”  
I'm screaming “DUDE WTF WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT IM GONNA DIE"

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ tiem skip buoyed to you from mr kuroo’s hit leggy’s~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Tbh all I took was clothes and these cat socks I gave which are cute and some games that are very if the gay. I waalk to kuroo's house and it looks like a nice house and I live next to him . I knock on his door and he is blushing.  
“Y u blushing!?”  
“N O R A S I N COME INSIDE” i go inside and his mother is eating raisins.  
“Do you want raisins maken?” I shake my head. Why the fuck does she think my name is maken? Dumb bitch that gave birth to a cute bitch.  
“W e c a n g o t o m y r o o m."  
“k.” I say and pretend to play my game but I'm actually staring at his thighs ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) .  
“Kenma why have you not beaten the boss yet??”  
“What I'm not staring at your thighs no”  
“Oooo k.”  
There was a lot of silence bc bokuto stole his car radio and now we just sit in silence (while I stare at his thighs, bless).  
“Kenma do you want some music-”  
“NO BOKUTO STOLE YOUR CAR RADIO AND NOW YOU MUST SIT IN SILENCE”  
“Um….? Kenma are you… Ok?”  
“No!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course not!!!!!!”  
“Right. I'm gonna call bokuto…”  
I stare at him like he a crazy bitch and he run to his phone and jump out the window. Wait what.

** Kuroo’s pov. **

“Bo, I think Kenma is on drugs…”  
“He's on dogs? I thought you guys were cats… DID HE BETRAY YOU?? ARE YOU SUFFERING?? DO YOU NEED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT???????”  
“Calm down, calm down. I'm fine, and no, I said drugs not dogs.”  
“AWW BUT I LIKE DOGS…”  
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE AN OWL!!?!??”  
“That DOESNT STOP ME FROM LIKING DOGS OK???”  
“Fine, just. Get the fuck over here I'm remotely worried for kenma’s health.”

Bo slams through my door and is greeted by my mom.  
“Hello bokuto : ) would you like some resins? : )”  
“What are resign?”  
“Bo lets go” I grab his hand and he gasp and blusH. “DAMMIT BO, NOWS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR GAY SHIT.”  
he starts crying and an angel called akaashi kiss kiss his tears away. “Thank” Bo say.  
We go up to the room and kenma is playing gay video games. “Convert him.” I commanded and BO was like “yessir” and punches Kenma in the face and Kenma is bleeding what did BO do to baes face is he ok ?? “NOT LIKE THAT MY BABYYYYYYYYY SETTER!!1!1!!1!1!1!”  
I start to cry combo x2 and then I faint.

** Bokuto’s pov. **

Oh fuck I just made my friends (probably) die. Tbh I think I shoukd call Akaashi so I do that. “Akaashi help I think I killed Kenma and kuroo”  
“You what.”  
“Come to kuroo’s house”  
“Where the-”  
And then Akaashi flew to kuroo's house. Because he is an angle. Angel. If Akaashi was an angle he would not be a straight angle. Kuroo's mom offered him raisins but Akaashi the not so straight angle said no. I would hate to be churro's mom bc my rains got declined by like 4 ppl and that is sad :(  
“Where are the dead bodies…?”  
I point to the floor and he kind of just collapses. Oops. I decide to call this random guy on my phone who I named ‘hot snek with cool hair’.  
“Who the shit is this.” They say.  
“GOTTA GIVE EM THE OL RAZZLE DAZZLE!!!!!”  
“Is this that owl guy from fukurodani…?”  
“...yes…”  
“Why are you calling me?”  
“Come to kuroo's house. Ok byeeee ;^)”

** Kuguri’s pov. **

I am very fucking afraid and confused. This ‘kuroo’ guys house seems nice though. His mother offered me raisins and I accepted them. They were not raisins. They are fucking disgusting why did I do that.  
“Mm, nice raisins where did you get them?” I sey   
“What the fuck is a raisin.”   
I cough awkwardly and run up the stairs bc nope no fucking thank you good Ol sir goodbye have fun down there with your raisins buddy ol pal chap ol friend chum she must be a good mum. This owl guy sighed at the face of me.  
“Ur face looks like a face.”  
“Holy shit.”  
“Yeah, I'm sorry man.”  
“No not that, I'm fucking leaving. Bye. Y'all fucking crazy.”  
“Bby pls don't goooooo” kuroo rises from the dead bc you can do that apparently.  
“Good. Fucking. Bye.”  
“Ew lmao did ya eat the raisins yer not supposed to eita them.”  
Semi glares from the distance and gives kuroo a ‘oh no you did not just make a fucking pun out of my name’ look.  
Bokuto starts crying and I feel like doing that too. This Kenma guy is like dead on the floor or some shit. Tbh no he's just there kinda lying in the ground crying while playing gay video games. Same.  
I am just about to jump out the window until…  
“YOOOO KUGURI MY BROOOOOOO”  
Oh fuck it's daishou I did not ask for them gay thoughts to appear in my mind get out get out.  
“GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOUSE YA LIL SLUTTY SNEK” kuroo yells oh god why didn't I leave earlier.  
“Chill.” Kenma say but kuroo didn't hear bc he was too busy punching daishou in the face. Rip his beautiful face…… It will be missed. By like me. Just me. No one else. I will fucking stab a bitch if anyone else cares about his face who is not me.  
Akaashi is also somehow alive and looks at me like dude stop being so gay over there I can feel it your gay vibes are so strong. And I give him a look that says no you stop I can see you looking at the owl guys ass over there. Did I mention kuroo has nice hair? Like he has a nice bed head. Mine is still better tho. Oh my god are daishou and kuroo talking about my hair.  
“Look brother. Kuguri’s hair IS DA FUCKIN BOMB OK??? Liek Imma fucking lick ya if ya say otterwise.”  
“Well, I say otherwise sooooo. pls don't lick me dats weird.”  
“Whatevs” and the n daishou lick kuroo but bokuto and Akaashi left the room bc there were too many people and they were like ‘oh hey there are too many people lets leave before more ppl come’ and then they left. Kenma is just crying a lot and I feel him bc why can't daishou lick me liek that's p weird of me to think but his tongue is like a snek and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) kuroo and daishou are having a glaring Como until kuroo's mom comes up and tries to feed us churro's which means Kenma avoids the food no matter what, kuroo is crying bc ‘no mom, pls don't make me commit such crimes as cannibalism’, and daishou is dragging me the fuck outta this mad house thank the lord and Jesus.  
“That was pretty gay, you know.” Daishou screams when I say this, oh god I swear to fuck if he's straight--  
He literally just gives me the Lenny face and blows on my ear.  
“Stop.” I say.  
He pouts and leans against my back. Oh god daishou stop your going to crush me with your attractive snek bod.  
“You know what I think is unfair?”  
“Hm..” I mutter, kinda not really caring about whatever he has to say bc damn that is a nice looking flower spooky shit.  
“That it's really unfair how you're two cm taller than me.”  
“So?”  
“ITS JUST REALLY FUCKING UNFAIR OK????1??!!!!1!!1!1!1!”  
“OK OK CHILL THE FUCK DOWN..”  
He gives me a smirk that just screams ‘hello I am Draco Malfoy here to punch you in the face with my hotness’. I am really fucked please help me.  
“Can you maybe chill?”  
“Don't you dare-”  
“HOW ABOUT Y O U MAYBE CHILL”  
I want to fucking cry, why is my friend such a meme like this. Why is my crush like this.  
“Please stop.”  
“Sorryyyyya”  
There is silence and I'm like ‘oh no silence I'm gonna go deaf ahah get that tfios ref??’. I haven't even watched that movie but I just love the ending bc the guy dies and that makes me happy but it's p sad tho like I find it really sweet--  
“Have you ever watched tfios?”  
“Tfios?”  
“The fault in our stars.”  
“Lmao. No. Pfft isn't that like some chick flick??”  
“Aren't those your type of movies?”  
“... Maybe…”  
“So you haven't watched it--”  
“You're coming to my house and we are watching this shitty romcom”  
He grabs my hand and we run run run run ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ to his house.  
“It's not a romcom holy fuck.”  
“DUDE YOU CALLED THE TITANIC A ROMCOM”  
“THERE WERE SOME FUNNY PARTS AND ITS A ROMANCE MOVIE SO IT MAKES SENSE”  
we get to his door and then i realise, fuck, this is practically a date and I'm fucking watching tfios with him?? I need to make better life decisions.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuguri fucks up and joins the hunger games.

** Kuguri’s pov. **

I can not fucking belive I am actually sitting on the daishou suguru’s couch and watching tfios. He's such an emotional sap, he started crying when the movie began bc ‘oh dear the cancer made her voice bad’. I felt like slapping him because that's really fucking rude, stop. Now that I think about it, I'm honestly not sure which would've been more romantic: this train wreck of a movie where I'm forced to sit through an hour and a half of daishou’s sniffles and tears, or a horror movie where we are both terrified enough that I have an excuse to cling to him bc ‘I'm scared bae, protect me’. You know, I didn't know what to expect but I sure as hell didn't fucking expect for him to burst of into the history of Japan memes.  
“Knock knock. It's Augustus Waters. With a huge dick. And cancer. Dickcancer. Open, the door to your house. Stop, having it closed.”  
“IS AUGUSTUS A CREEPY STALKER NOW???”  
“Yes.”  
“Ive gotta say, hat was fucking terrible. I mean, ‘dickcancer’? Is that even real?? And he had osteosarcoma, not dickcancer.”  
“Losten,,,, I think I know what I'm taking abut swaety : ) ))))) : ))”  
I groan and cover my ears with his pillow. Oh my god it smells like him I'm so fucking gay FUCJ fuck FUCJ.  
“Shut the fuck.”  
The movie is almost over and I swear my shirt COUKD not be more tear stained that it is now, daishou how can you even make that much tears. It got pretty awkward during those make out scenes, I could feel my face heating up while daishou was all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ‘oh kuguri… Why would you show me such obscene things’. I almost fucking choked on my own spit when he said that ‘snek’ could be our always. The movie fucking ended soon enough (finally). And it's getting pretty late and I kinda really don't want to walk home.  
“Heyyyyyyyyyyy, kuguri. You should sleep over. My OARENTS aren't ven home so they won't give a flying FUVK.”  
“Wow, a flying fuck. How rare..”  
“KUGURI ANSWER MY GID DAMN Q AND A.”  
“Fine. Ok. I'll stay over.”  
“Good.”  
I have brought no clothes and THEERE is literally one bed. we a rein his bedroom btw if I didn't clarify that.  
“Does your fam have another bed??”  
“Nah, we just all sleep in this one bed. We take turns :^)”  
“What the fukurodani”  
“Kidding, TGis is meh bed and meh parents gave bed but you can't sleep in dat bed k?”  
“I'm sleeping on the floor.”  
I walk over to the floor and lie on it. Oh and I also stole daishou’s pillow bc it's nice.  
“Thank and goodnight” I say and go to sleep.  
“Nooooooooooo” he say “noooooooo” he pick me up “noooOOOOOO” HE put me on his bed.  
“Fuck the fuck off.”  
“U r mean” he pout but I feel aleppo so oh well  
I week UO and he has his arms around my waist.  
“Wtf?” I say and throw a volleyball at his arms  
“Ouch iwa chan”  
“Who the fuck”  
“Sorry”  
“I'm LEVing bye”  
“Aw”  
I lev and then I go to my house and cry a lil. I think he's straight. But then he calls me and asks if I want to go over to his house and I say ok bc I like his house.  
I go over to his house and I think his parents might be dead bc it's been like a day and ???????? Where are they ???????????  
“Hi” I sed  
“Hi” he sed also “We should play t or d”  
“Kay”  
I walk into his house and sit on the floor in his room where I wanted to sleep and also I stole his pillow and am hugging his pillow.  
“I starrrrrtttttttt”. He smmmirk.  
“Ok?”  
“Ok.” I can't believe this son of a bitch ith referencing tfios right now.  
“Fuvkin starrete Alred's”  
“T or d?”  
“T”  
“Why do you stel my pillo”  
“It's soft”  
“Oh”  
“T or d?”  
“D”  
“I dare you to sing a song”  
He coughs and begins singing a song. “HERE WE ARE CAN YOU TELL THAT STORY IS MY FAVOURITE ONE YOU FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT I CANT ENTERTAIN YOU ANYMORE”  
“Did you just sing ptv?”  
“I think so.”  
“Nice”  
“T or d?”  
“D”  
“I d you tah kiss me”  
“What i thought you were straight?? are you even gay”  
“Yes but no homo”  
“That-- that fuc-” I try to spek but he's all ‘nooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE GOTTA KISS’ and then he kissed me and it was nice.  
“I love you. Full homo.”  
But then I'm too shocked and I fuck up and slap him and say “you don't have to say ‘I love you’ to say I love you” and then I put on shades and go outside and cry bc wow I fucked up big time.  
So I'm at my house and look at my let snek lilycat and pat her. She is a nice snek. I smiel.  
“Do you love me snek?”  
Likycat is like ‘yaaaassss’ but then she died in a tornado. Fucking tornados.  
I think I was supposed to ask likycat fir advice but she died in a tornado soooooo I turn on the tv. There is an add for ppl who wanna join the hunger games and I'm like lmao yes ok my life sucks so I sign up.  
-......later…...-  
I'm at this cool hotel and I've been training and I know a lot of the ppl therer. In disctron 1 there is Semi and Shirabu. In district 2 there is Ushijima and Tendou. I have to watch out fir them four bc district 1 and 2 has alliance and dat men they won't kill eachother maybe. In dis trip 3 there is Oikawa and iwaizumi. In district 4 der is matsun and makki. In district 5 der is Kenma and kuroo. In dictruc 6 dereeeee is bokuto and Akaashi. In dictruc 7 derse is Daichi and suga. In dictru 8 der is terushima and daishou. In discussion 9 there is lev and yaku. In discrimination 10 there is kindaichi and kunimi. In district 11 there is noya and tanka. And in discti 12 there is me and inuoka.  
I ca n not wait fir da games to begin.  
 **~~~~~~~~~~~~ the hunger games begins ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ~~~~~~~~~~~**


End file.
